This is one of my before pictures.  I will post the 'half way' pics later in the week. 

Today as I was getting out of the shower I had this aha moment, you know, the one Oprah so frequently spoke of.  For the last few weeks I have been struggling with really signing up for the Bryce Canyon Half Marathon coming up in July instead of just talking about doing it.  I have fought with this idea in my head - going back and forth - pros versus cons, and what about my knee that has been giving me troubles lately.  And then today, as I was getting out of the shower it hit me. . . .  I have to put myself out there if I want to succeed!  If I never try I will never know.  Yes, this means I will be vulnerable, but it is worth knowing whether I can do it or not.  This is something my therapist tried for a year to get me to realize. . . and I never got it . . not until now, that is.

If you want to try something is it worth sitting on the side lines worried because of what others may say or do?  Now I realize, no, it isn't worth it.  Yes, there is a chance I will not be able to finish, but it's worth a shot and I'm going to give it all I've got.  I am now officially signed up for the half marathon and I can't wait to see how it ends! 

Quote.

Every once in a while Paul will give me a motivational quote - something for me to ponder on as I change my lifestyle and adjust to working out six days a week and eating healthier, something to push me just a little bit further.  This has been one of my very favorites:

You can make excuses or you can __________, but you cannot do both.

This has helped me a time or two when I would prefer sleeping in rather than getting up to go exercise.  As I lay in my nice cozy bed contemplating what to do, I can hear Paul saying this to me in the back of my head.  In the end, I've always gotten up and put on my running shoes.

Today's Accountability

Here is my plan for today.

Exercise:
lower body workout
25 minute HIIT (high-intensity interval training)
20 minute butt workout at home

Thankfully, my exercise is done for the day.  Getting up at 5:10 a.m. to head to the gym isn't always my idea of a good day, but at least I get it over with early and it gives me plenty of time to workout and be home before my husband goes to work.

And here is my food plan for the day. 

Breakfast:
protein shake and half a banana

Snack:
almonds

Lunch:
4 oz slice of turkey breast
baked yam with a little bit of cinnamon
steamed beet greens

Snack:
string cheese

Dinner:
 bruschetta chicken
green salad with ranch

Background Info

Towards the end of 2011, weighing in at my heaviest, 168 pounds, I was semi-depressed and had just kind of settled into this feeling of 'I guess I will always be the fat girl, and I'm going to have to just deal with it'.  In a way I had completely given up on myself and was trying to accept it.  For that year I had tried a couple of different things to lose weight and nothing had worked.  I had been exercising but had never bothered to change my food.  I thought it wouldn't matter what I ate as long as I exercised.  

 I have been overweight for a good majority of my life.  Food was my friend, my comforter, and it always made me feel better.  Looking back now, I would turn to food whenever there were issues, much like an alcoholic would turn to liquor when things got "tough" or to suppress.  Growing up I was sexually abused and food was the only thing that understood me and knew of my troubles.

In January I was presented an idea and I thought, 'I have nothing to lose, so what the heck' and decided to take advantage of a life coach.  So January 27 was when i started working with Paul.  I was extremely overweight, unhappy with myself, eating whatever and whenever it pleased me, and had I stopped exercising.

The first thing he made me do was go through all the areas of my home and to take a real good look at them and get them cleaned and organized. . . . including the pantry, fridge and freezer.  This meant throwing out the ding-dongs, fruit snacks, chips and a whole bunch of other things.  To say the least, I was nobody's favorite in the house for a while.  It took me a week, but I was able to do it and I felt tons better.  It was almost as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  Now it was time to stock the fridge and pantry with healthier choices.

Sore Muscles

Saturday morning my husband and I went to the football stadium of the local college. Instead of running 5 miles that morning we decided to try stairs. Running from the bottom of the football stands to the top and then over and down the far set of stairs consisted of one set. I made it 7 times - he lapped me - a couple of times. By the end my legs felt like jello. I told him that I probably would have preferred running the 5 miles instead. Then he said, "let's run a mile - as fast as we can on the last leg". Reluctantly, I agreed. I don't know what I was thinking. My legs were not quite mine and it felt like at any moment they were going to give out on me, but in the end I made it. . . . and it felt good to complete the task. Walking to the car, I told myself that wasn't so bad and I'm grateful it's over.

Fast forward two days later; my calf muscles are so sore it took all I had to walk from my bedroom to the laundry room to retrieve my workout clothes at 5:30 this morning. It felt like someone had stuffed huge balls of cement into my legs which wouldn't allow the muscles to stretch all the way. And today I'm suppose to be working on lower body at the gym. Even though I could barely walk, I told myself I would still go to the gym and try my best at my usual workout routine.

I had to skip one machine altogether, it was too painful. And then when it came time to do my HIITs I just had to walk. But I chose to set the incline high on the treadmill in order to help me stretch out my reluctant calf muscles. All in all, it ended up being ok. Then I made a commitment to myself that I will go for a walk sometime this afternoon.

Reasons for Starting

There are a few reasons why I am starting this blog; one, I think it will help motivate me in my journey, keep me honest and accountable about what I am doing on a daily basis, and two, it will be a place where I can keep track of everything, and if I can help anyone else along the way that would just be a bonus.